From music to poetry to novels to movies, love is always one of the themes throughout art to overcome the barriers of the times. But what about love in science?
Historical, cultural and even evolutionary evidence suggests that love has existed in various civilizations around the world since ancient times. One study looked at evidence of the existence of love in 147/166 cultures they examined.
But love is really a complicated concept. It is complicated both in terms of how people experience it and how that experience can change over time.
Like, love or fall in love?
For more than 50 years, psychologists have studied the difference between emotional states: liking, falling in love, and falling in love with someone.
Whereby, “prefer“is described as the emotional state of two people, each of whom has positive thoughts and feelings towards the other but is oriented towards friendship.
In relationship “like each other”, we often experience warmth and closeness to the people we like. In some cases, we choose to have intimate feelings for these people.
When the “to love“We also experience the same thoughts and positive experiences as when we like someone. But we also experience the feeling of being cared for and having a deep commitment to people. there.
When in love “deep in love“, we will experience all these states, plus sexual attraction and excitement. However, researching people’s views on love suggests that each person’s love is not. must always be the same.
Passion love and companion love
Romantic love can be divided into two categories. The first is passionate love or passionate love. And the second is companion love. Most romantic relationships, whether they are heterosexual or same-sex, can be classified into these two types of love.
Passion love is something that people often classify as love “deep in love” above. It has such a strong sense of passion and desire for someone that you may be obsessed with thinking about wanting to be in their arms.
The second love is called companion love. It is not intense, but it is complex and contains emotional connections of intimacy, committed by a deep attachment to the partner.
How does love change over time?
Research looking at changes in love over time often shows that: Passionate, passionate love often begins very intensely, but will diminish gradually over the course of a relationship.
There are many different reasons that explain this effect.
Firstly, as the relationship progresses, the two begin to fall in love with each other more and more to learn more about each other. Each of them has become more confident about the long-term future of their relationship, so they don’t look after each other anymore.
These habits will develop in the process. Opportunities to experience novelty and excitement are also diminishing, along with the frequency of sexual activity. This can cause passionate love to subside.
Although not all couples who fall in love with each other in the first place experience this downturn, many studies show that about 20-40% of them notice it. Among couples who have been married for more than 10 years, the strongest recession can occur when their marriage enters the second decade.
That’s because many events occur in life, many changes can make people who love each other more distracted and no longer experience the passion in love. Many other responsibilities in life will affect their energy, limiting opportunities for them to cultivate passionate love. Starting to have a first child and being a parent is an example of this.
In contrast, studies find that companionship love often increases over time. Couples who love more along the way, will love each other more and more.
But in fact, most romantic relationships will include both passionate love and companion love. So to talk about the change of love over time, consider whether your love now has more intensity or more companionship.
If a relationship is only intense or has too few companions, it will have negative changes as it progresses and vice versa.
But why does love appear?
Love is an emotion that keeps people engaged and committed to each other. From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, love is born to keep parents of children together long enough to keep them alive and take care of them to adulthood, reaching sexual maturity to continue to maintain the same race.
Compared to other animals, human childhood is much longer. Therefore, children need to rely on their parents for many years to live and develop the necessary skills. Love for people is especially important.
Without love, humanity would probably not have evolved until now.
There is also a biological basis for love
Not only is there an evolutionary basis, the reason why love is born can also be explained in terms of biology. Neurophysiological studies of love show that lovers are more likely to activate areas of the brain that involve more reward and pleasure.
In fact, brain regions are activated by love the same way they are activated by drugs. They release chemicals like oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine, creating feelings of happiness and excitement. Of course, these brain regions are also involved in sexual excitement.
And interestingly, many of the brain-activated regions in love won’t be activated when you think of other relationships, such as friendship. These findings show us that liking someone is not the same as loving someone.
What is your love style?
Research has found three main styles of love. First classified by psychologist John Lee, love consists of three main ways: eros, ludus and storge. These styles are categorized based on people’s beliefs and attitudes about love, as well as the way they act and approach romantic relationships.
This style is the type of love that focuses on your partner’s physical attraction. You often have sexual desires and desires and other intimate intimacies.
This style is a kind of emotional distance. It happens when one person loves another, but there is no clear commitment. Lovers in the ludus style will feel comfortable at the end of their relationships. And they even start a new relationship even before the end of the existing relationship.
Storge is often considered a more mature form of love. It prioritizes relationships with people with similar interests. Love in this style of love is shared and expressed openly. The storge-style lover pays little attention to the partner’s physical appeal. They also always believe in their lover and do not need or not depend on them.
However, you can also have a mixed love style
Evidence shows that some people with love styles blend the above main love styles. These mixed styles are called mania, pragma and agape.
Love mania contains both vigor and commitment as well as caring for partners. Love pragma often comes from the choice of a partner based on their own needs and pragmatism. Still agape It is a love of sacrifice, motivated by a sense of duty and altruism.
Why do you love that style?
A person’s love style has no or little dependence on genes. Instead, it is related to the development of personality and experiences you have in the past.
Some studies have found that people with a lot of bad traits, such as narcissism, mechanics, paternalism or mental problems often love the ludus or pragma style.
People who always feel insecure and need to be recognized in love often have a mania style. While those who feel timid, uncomfortable with intimacy will not choose to love the eros way.
But regardless of the difference in the way we experience love, there is one thing in common when people are a social animal, we all have a deep passion for love.