Do you consider yourself a hot-tempered person? And there are times when your anger is soaring that your behaviors are out of control?
Don’t worry, because you’re not the only one (but don’t spend your life on anger either).
Releasing anger not only improves your mood, but also has many benefits for your health.
Keeping the mind in a state of stress can lead to conditions such as insomnia, depression, and increased risk of cardiovascular diseases. You also do not want to get these diseases, right!
We cannot avoid feelings of frustration. It can be caused by big external influences. From small things like looking for keys, or getting stuck in traffic … to big things like this month’s salary deduction. ..
Excitement is also my problem. It played out unexpectedly and swirled me into the tension. So, for the past two years, I have set a goal to master psycho-based agitation.
Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh once said: Anger is like a fire that burns your self-control. And I learned how to put out that fire with the air.
Psychologist Dr. Mark Crawford once explained: “We all have the reaction” fight “or” run away “. That is adaptation. Some people react more sensitively than others. The good news is that we can reprogram it with our breathing and mindfulness meditation.
For me, reprogramming works best with a complete overview of it.
Here are 10 very simple steps to help me do that, avoiding feelings of frustration and anger. Master those feelings to limit provocative situations, or at least push them away as soon as possible.
Of course, you do not have to practice all 10 steps or follow the sequence as instructed below.
Many small things (like someone crossing the road, traffic jam, children disobeying …) can be solved immediately, with just the first step.
For other things (such as being punished by the traffic police, attacked by others …), you may have to take more steps to see the effectiveness.
And especially, there are very bad situations (family conflicts, work problems …) and you will need more effort, maybe you will have to do all the steps.
Step # 1: 10 breaths
When you feel a sense of frustration, return to focusing on your breathing. Take 10 breaths very slowly, deeply, even very carefully. The annoyances will probably go away immediately.
And if the frustration is still not over, the breath will continue to support you. Breathe inward, filling your lungs with gas and pushing down to your stomach. This will help stabilize your blood pressure and relax your body.
In addition, you can combine it with a spell or a calming image as well. Every night when I coax the children to bed, I often think in my mind “I have the capacity of the patience of the Buddha”.
Occasionally I practice 10 breaths and think of a surfer at sunset in the Pacific Ocean. That memory often pulls me out of my existing troubles.
And you, please think of a certain scene where you felt the most peaceful in the past!
Step # 2: Talk to yourself
If the breathing doesn’t work, try to reinterpret what’s going on with yourself: “I’m aroused right now because …”. The second part is to retell the problems that are making you angry.
Interpretation is probably all you need, because it creates a mental pause longer than the breath. And when you explain everything to yourself, it will make everything clearer. Even when told, things will become funny and make you forget the frustration.
Step # 3: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
If someone annoys you, this step is the same way you are sympathizing with them. Attempt to see the situation from the person’s reality and make assumptions why they acted like this.
Your assumptions will be the root reason for you to sympathize with them. You may find their actions justified and for a reason.
These assumptions are not just about justifying the mistakes of others, but about clearing your confusion and frustration.
If someone gets in the way, just assume they have something to deal with in a hurry (Cao Cao, for example 😀).
Step # 4: The role of the “benevolent” role model
You can’t control what life throws at you, but you can control your attitudes and how you react to those things.
Pull your thoughts out of your daily inhibitions and focus on your behavior. If you always imagine how you will be a kind, kind person in oppressive circumstances, then one day you will become one.
Depends on the type of image you want. That might be a person with a calm, calm, gentleman manner, always living beautifully in a community who likes to play badly, …
These images can be real people, real things like Uncle Ho, James Bond, Ellen Ripley, Cary Grant, Pam Grier or Obi-Wan Kenobi…. And your job is to follow what you think.
Step # 5: Everything will be over
Anything that disturbs you, it is only temporary and controllable. This feeling won’t follow us forever, it’s only a matter of time. Time will erase everything ..
Admit that you are feeling upset is to bring it under control. Winds of change will blow through, helping to frame the scope of the problem, no matter how great it is.
Step # 6: Where is the real problem?
Is the problem causing these inhibitions really serious? Is it as serious as any other problem you know? What is important to solving these problems?
Changing your focus on your priorities will distract you from your mood and connect you to the more important things. Surfing the photo album in your phone is a secret to quickly turning the feeling around ^^!
Step # 7: Funny things
Regardless of your affliction, look at it with humor. If you can see the humor in a situation, laugh at it and turn it stupid, which can repel your anger.
This step was very effective while I brushed my daughter’s teeth. He brushed his teeth very through the speaker but still had to wait 20 minutes. She has to brush her bear friend’s teeth first.
Even if it’s not funny, the “fake it until you make it” effect can be very effective.
Just pretend you are very humorous and easy to find the humor in this and then one day you realize “salt becomes salty”.
Step # 8: Find a solution
If you have done all of the above steps and still have not worked, then this question can help you: “What can I do to make things better?”.
Even if it is a small step but it is also very precious, just take action to put us in the frame of action, not react.
If you can find a great solution right after that, that’s too good. You will have a variety of mood swings to adjust your mood and find yourself better than you think you are.
All you need to do is stop to make sure your actions will not create any other disadvantage.
If you can’t find a solution, that’s okay. There are times when nothing more can be done, and it is time to learn to accept.
Step # 9: Believe in time
Then a few days, months later, or years later, you might see this story differently. If you don’t believe, just look at the stories of the past.
All of which give us the lesson, a catalyst or even an opportunity for you to be where you are today.
Looking back now, you can even look at those difficult situations with a funny perspective and a grateful attitude. As long as you are aware, the emotions in the present moment will not last forever. OK!
Step # 10: Ask for help from others
If necessary, talk to someone you trust the most – someone you can talk to.
Tell the details of everything that happened and how you are feeling. Others can give you more of their own perspectives and perspectives. If it’s a good listener, they’ll give you an advice or a more suitable perspective.
Well, here are 10 easy steps to get you out of your frustration. Does your above share help you feel more relieved? If so, please comment to let me know!
And if you see someone who needs to read this article, please share it to help them overcome their anger quickly.
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